Forgiveness arises naturally when you have processed the pain, trauma, energy, and unconscious thoughts. If this does not happen, you still have work to do.
As a side note, forgiveness does not equal condoning behavior, and you don’t forgive to let someone else “off the hook”; instead, you forgive because not doing so is painful. Not forgiving takes a lot of mental, emotional, psychic, and spiritual energy. When you can heal, you feel so much better.
Additionally, once you have forgiven ‘the other’ (there really is no other, just the Self), then you can usually see the role your ego or ‘small self’ played in what went down. As the old saying goes, “it takes two to tango.”
-Douglas Johnson E-RYT 500, YACEP, OM, Certified KI Facilitator